Hi Friends..
I am back with New New Funny Love Quotes
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1. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
2. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
3. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
4. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”
5. “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
6. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor."
7. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.”
8. “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
9. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.”
10. “Loving is like peeing in your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.”
11. “Love is loving what your lover loves.”
12. “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
13. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long–term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
14. “Trust your husband, adore your husband, and transfer as much property as you can to your name.”
15. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.”
16. “Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.” – Nicholas Sparks
17. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol
18. “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
19. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
20. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
21. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” – Henny Youngman
22. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland
23. “No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – Unknown
24. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
25. “Being a good husband is like being a stand–up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld
26. “Love thy neighbor, just watch out for the husband.”
27. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
28. “Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do, but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” – Albert Einstein
29. “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
30. “What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
31. “The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.” – Markus Zusak, The Book Thief.
32. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.4” – Charles Schulz
33. “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
34. “Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.” – Unknown
35. “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” – Jackie Mason
36. “If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.” – Chuck Palahniuk
37. “No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.” – Joyce Brothers
38. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
39. “Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
40. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.”
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